No intention whatsoever of being a Scrooge but I’m thoroughly fed up with you humans and your festivities. Just life isn’t good enough for you is it? At least this year my human didn’t have a houseful of noisy people trying to coax me out of my hiding place under the bed, They think they can buy me you know, by giving me food they know I like, sometimes I have to relent because I know my human enjoys hearing them admire my perfect shiny blackness .but I generally lift my tail, turn my back on them, and show them my bottom!
Of course I know why. Her son has bought himself a dog. Disgusting. It’s never still, searches tickles and cuddles, licks them and slobbers over them. And the breath! My human washes her hands straight after that monster licks her. Personally I don’t lick people, let them do their own toilette.
She kept me in on New Year’s Eve and I think I know why because later I heard these really loud bangs. You humans are just not into quiet are you?
Soon she’ll be taking those flashing lights off her Christmas tree, thank goodness; I don’t need my outside bedroom illuminated thankyou, so things will soon get back to normal. I realise that I sound like a disgruntled cat, but I’m not. I’m very satisfied with my life and I show it by allowing her to stroke and cuddle me and I purr to her very loudly because she loves that. Humans don’t purr apparently.
English that grows 